Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
