I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
