i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
bring money and cleavage
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
