just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
