Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
