I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
