I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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