mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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