Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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