it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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