it hurts more in the daytime
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
