the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
