Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize