An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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