Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
