i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize