just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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