dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it hurts more in the daytime
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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