I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
