Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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