He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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