Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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