You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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