when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
They have beer where we have blood.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
