he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
