I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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