I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
