Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
