i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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