Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
