my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
