Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i dont even know how to be here
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
