I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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