OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
