Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you had me at cake vodka
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
