Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
