AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
