my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
