Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
