and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
