i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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