Will you blow on my dice?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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