It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
