Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Text me some of your sweat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
