i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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