Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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