you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
