It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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