I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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