She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
