I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
