Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
