It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
