I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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