So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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