Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
