i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
