I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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