So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize