Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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