She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
