Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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