what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
