She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
