Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i barfeds in our rink
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
