i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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