No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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